You might have noticed I missed a week’s worth of posts recently. I was at a summer camp for esperanto learners in Slovakia. It was absolutely awesome, and I simply had no time to write blog posts.
And yet I almost didn’t go there, because I had a lot of doubts - it was so far out of my comfort zone.
But now I’m back, fully victorious. I conquered my fears, gained a lot of friends, and had an incredibly awesome week. And it’s not the first time, either. A few times before, I put myself far out of my comfort zone…. and had great results. I’m starting to notice a pattern.
Why sticking within your comfort zone sucks
Imagine a small little worm, crawling happily on a tree. It eats leaves, grows, and one day decides it’s time to build a cocoon for itself.
And once it’s in the cocoon, it’s nice and safe. Just like you feel safe within your comfort zone.
But it can’t just stay there forever. It would eventually wither and die of hunger. And a similar thing happens to people who stay in their comfort zone too long. It’s not a physical death for them, but emotional death. When you see a frowning, unhappy face of someone who hasn’t done anything new or exciting for years - that’s what I’m talking about. Sticking in your comfort zone eventually deprives you of emotional food - excitement, adventure, new experiences.
But if the worm decides to eventually get out of his cocoon, instead of just staying there forever, he becomes a butterfly! Free, and happy, flying through sunny fields all day long. And you too can become a butterfly! Just get out of your comfort zone, and do things even when you’re uncertain of the result!
“There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”
- John F. Kennedy
Feel the fear and do it anyway
So you decided to stretch your comfort zone, and do something you never had the balls to do before. But at the last moment, you backed off, because you were just too afraid.
I’ve been there. Hundreds of times.
Don’t worry, it’s normal to feel afraid or nervous before big decisions. Just feel the fear, and then do what you wanted to do anyway. You are guaranteed to gain confidence exactly proportional to how much fear you just conquered.
Q: But I’m just too afraid to do it!
A: In that case, start smaller. It’s just a matter of building up confidence so you can tackle bigger things. Every time you stretch your comfort zone, you gain confidence. And more confidence, in turn, lets you conquer bigger fears.
So if you’re too afraid to get up in front of 100 people to sing, even though you know you’re a great singer, you could join a public speaking class where you’ll be standing in front of a friendly group of about 15 people. Or, if you’re too afraid to do even that, just get together half a dozen friends and practice being in front of that kind of audience.
A word of caution
Now, this could be obvious, but I’ll say it anyway. I don’t recommend stretching your comfort zone with things that are actually DANGEROUS. Like driving on the top of a subway train or something.
I recommend stretching your comfort zone where you logically know it’s safe, but you’re still EMOTIONALLY afraid. Like public speaking. Like approaching strangers in a public place. Like traveling, like meeting new people, like taking on new hobbies.
Get started NOW
So you want to get started, but aren’t sure how?
RIGHT NOW, take a pen and paper (or open a text document, thought I personally prefer pen and paper). Close your eyes for a few moments, and think of three experiences you would like to enjoy, but you keep stopping yourself because it’s too far out of your comfort zone.
It could be trying out a new hobby, or contacting someone you always wanted to talk to, or anything else you can think of.
Got it written down yet?
Next to each of them, note how much you’re afraid, on a scale 1-10.
Then, for each of them, figure out the next single step you need to take. It might be sending an e-mail, or doing a google search for the information you need, or talking to a friend who knows about these things.
After you figure out the next step for conquering each of your fears, figure out when’s the earliest time you can do each of them (right now?), and then do it at that time.
Conquer the fears! Spartaaaa!
…
Go ahead. It’s ok!
Post Comment